These past few days, happiness has been a rampant topic. I don’t know why, but for some reason it just seems to be knocking at my door.

But, what is happiness? Where can we find it? How can we find it? Does it really exist?

Many people say that there are a lot of things that can make us happy. True. I have found a lot of things in my life that made me happy. Things that gave me happiness; But happiness that are just skin deep; happiness that are just ephemeral.

The happiness that I’m longing for is eternal happiness. The kind that will never abandon me. The kind that will always put a smile on my face. The kind that would free me from remembering the hurts of the past; form experiencing the pains of today; and from thinking about the fear of tomorrow. The kind of happiness that would leave me fulfilled and appeased. The kind of happiness that would never seem to exist.

Hurt. Pain. Regret. Doubt. Fear. Insecurity. Envy. Sloth. (No coherence.. so?!?)

These are but a few words that would always be present in ones life. Words that we wished never existed. Words that made us hate reality. Words that made us hate life.

But there is just no way to escape these words. You cannot simply erase them; they are and will forever be present. The only way you can deal with them is to overcome them, to defeat them, to overpower them.

It’s ironic that I could easily say what to do in order to deal with these words, while in reality, I can never seem to put what I said in to good use.

I can never fully overcome my weaknesses; never fully appreciate the things I have; never fully feel confident about my self; never fully feel satisfied. I could never be fully happy about myself.

I'm tired. Just tired.

I know what I must do… but I can’t do it…

I know what I need to do… but I can’t do it…

I know what I can do… but I don’t do it…